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Five Reasons The Dallas Cowboys Failed in 2008

December 28, 2008

Cowboys or CRYboys?

Cowboys or CRYboys?

1. There’s no “I” in “TEAM,” but there IS an “I” in “AMERICA’S TEAM.”
Whether it’s T.O. complaining that he’s not getting enough catches or Pacman complaining that he’s not getting enough rope, the Cowboys were ultimately unable to overcome the fact that their locker room is infected with selfishness, hubris and narcissism.

2. They should have made Tony Sparano an offer he couldn’t refuse.
The Cowboys bet on Jason Garrett and lost. They hoped they found the league’s next offensive mastermind, but were so fixated on the fact that he was a former Cowboy player and fan favorite that they overlooked his lack of significant coaching experience. Meanwhile, they let the guy walk who really made their offense tick, just because his name had no sizzle unless it happened to be misspelled.

3. The only thing this team showed any consistent commitment to all season was blaming the media for everything.
Not one coach or player on this entire franchise ever stepped up once all season and sincerely held themselves accountable for a single mistake. It didn’t matter if it was showdowns in the locker room or breakdowns on the field, every single bad thing that happened to this team inevitably was blamed on the media. Does Ed Werder miss tackles? Does Calvin Watkins commit repeated false starts? Does Jean Jacques-Taylor break off routes? Nothing is ever going to change until the people who draw a paycheck from the Dallas Cowboys start accepting responsibility for their actions.

4. There’s a reason nobody drafted Tony Romo when they had the chance.
Remember Don Majkowski? He was an off-the-radar no-name QB who took the NFL by storm out of nowhere in 1989 by throwing 27 TD passes and more than 4,000 yards for the Green Bay Packers, before quickly plummeting back to obscurity shortly therafter. He was a reckless gunslinger who somehow managed to catch lightning in a bottle for one season before his lack of pedigree and discipline caught up with him. Perhaps we are experiencing a bit of deja vu with Wisconsin’s own Tony Romo. He was a great feel-good story for a while there, but he’s really nothing more than a sandlot wizard whose bag of tricks has finally run dry. Ever wonder why you never see any of those blacktop playground hoop “legends” end up in the NBA? It’s basically the same principle at work here.

5. The head of the snake is still nothing more than a white trash Arkansas bumpkin with an enormous cow chip on his shoulder.
Ultimately, what is proving to be this team’s kryptonite year after year is the unhealthy and all-consuming obsession Jerry Jones has with having the spotlight constantly directed at his surgically-stretched snakeoil salesman smile. Underneath the blinding sheen of pomposity, he remains burdened by a lifelong inferiority complex, which has led him to measure success in terms of prestige instead of wins. He’d rather be GM of the team that leads the league in merchandise sales than hire a GM to lead this team to a championship.

Some of these things will be fixed this offseason, but too many others won’t. As much as it pains me to say it, don’t expect things to get any better in seasons to come. Jerry’s got his spectacular palace and the show ponies to trot onto his main stage, so anything else – winning included – is not a priority.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. December 29, 2008 2:42 am

    I forgot about the Majic Man. Romo’s post game comments about not a big deal if they win the super bowl and not a big deal if they lose it because he just loves playing makes you wonder if he has the stomach for this.

  2. Matt permalink
    December 28, 2008 10:22 pm

    What I want to know is do they just draw random names out of a hat when naming offensive linemen to the Pro Bowl? How the f@%k did Andre Gurode get to be named a Pro Bowler?!

    I’m giving Romo another year. When you get down to it, a quarterback more often than not can only be as good as his offensive line, and they were never there to protect him so he could look to see who was open, though he does need to learn to not just throw the ball wherever he wants.

  3. Carl D permalink
    December 28, 2008 9:32 pm

    two more direct reasons…
    1) O line was terrible this season… Sparano leaving was one reason (Houck had a better head coach in the old days)… we had some injuries but they were there last season too… they just sucked this year. We lost to Arizona and St. Louis because of the offensive line.

    2) DBs – and primarily safety play – injuries killed us this year… despite all the negative flack against Roy Williams, we could have used him the past few weeks, especially against the Ravens. Newman missing time, Pacman distraction, injuries to Hamlin, Watkins and Davis…

    personally, I think the biggest reason we sucked this year was the offensive line problems. they were flat out plain-to-terrible after the Philly game…

    Injuries were a huge issue all around but I think the coaching or lack thereof leads to less conditioning and more injuries…

    Unbelievably disappointing all around. Hoping for changes this off season…

    – hardass head coach, better D-coordinator… no more brother in lawin’ from the top.
    – dump pacman, g-bye TO…
    – draft/trade for O-line help… left guard..
    – someone get Flozell’s hearing checked… the guy is missing something on the snap count.

    and lastly, no more HBO… keep the cameras and distractions out of the locker room and training camp. We didn’t have problems selling t-shirts and jerseys before HBO.

  4. walt permalink
    December 28, 2008 8:32 pm

    I’m about there with you on Romo.
    I AM there with you on the other points 100%.

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