LOST Thoughts – S5 E13

Here are my thoughts on the thirteenth episode of Lost (season five), “Some Like It Hoth”:

1. Teen Miles looks like he rolled in right off the set of “Next Stop Nowhere” (a.k.a. the legendary “punk rock” episode of Quincy, M.E.).  The excessive piercings were a nice touch, but that hair really did nothing more than serve as a potential aphrodisiac for Pepe LePew.
2. You’d think something like Dharma’s “Circle of Trust” would take years upon years of proven loyalty – and perhaps even some sort of sacred initiation ritual – to penetrate.  But as it turns out, it really doesn’t take more than a missing security guy, a corpse in need of moving and the keys to a VW microbus to be given the secret handshake.
3. Nice of Hurley to suggest carpooling to prevent future global warming, but if I were Miles, my kneejerk response would have likely been, “That’s great, but do you want to know a REALLY inconvenient truth?!?  I’m stuck on this island delivering bodies and sandwiches to my dead deadbeat daddy from 30 years ago!  So, sorry about my carbon footprint and all, but I ain’t exactly worried about going green right now.”
4. I’ve smelled (and dealt) some pretty disgustingly rancid farts in my time, but nothing that would even remotely compare to the smell of a decomposing corpse.  Of course, I say that having never actually smelled a decomposing corpse, but I think it’s a pretty safe assumption based on how rookies on cop shows always react when arriving on their first murder scene.
5. I loved how during Hurley’s incognito father-son counseling session, it was Pierre Chang’s admission that he preferred country music to jazz which triggered an immediate and pointed “You really ARE a douche!” look from Miles.
6. Hurley should stop wasting his time transcribing The Empire Strikes Back as a favor to George Lucas, and instead do us ALL a favor and completely re-write The Phantom Menace…without Jar-Jar Binks!  Because let’s face it: Binks sucks WAY more than Ewoks, dude.
7. Did anybody get a close look at what Jack was erasing from the chalkboard in the one-room Dharma schoolhouse when Roger stumbled in demanding answers about Kate?  Without having the benefit of going back and more closely inspecting via freeze frame, I’m guessing it was either an ancient Egyptian history/mythology lesson related to the statue or 100 instances of “I will not call my dad a drunken mop jockey in front of my classmates.”
8. From Captain and Tennille to Albert Hammond (not The Strokes’ guitarist, but his one-hit wonder daddy), Dharma sure does equip all of their vehicles with an extensive collection of 8-tracks.  Do the DeGroots subscribe to Columbia House and just send the latest shipment along with each sub to the island?
9. It worked out well for those of us who are fans of Sawyer, but how stupid is Phil for giving the guy who just showed up out of nowhere three years earlier “the benefit of the doubt,” as opposed to those he’s been on the island with much longer.  Like the videotape he brought with him, I’m predicting Phil is about to suffer the same fate as Betamax.
10. As much as I generally find him to be an annoying and insufferable pain in the ass, I have to admit it was oddly comforting to see Faraday return to the island.  Kind of like David Lee Roth returning to Van Halen, only with a full body black ninja suit instead of assless chaps.