LOST Thoughts – S5 E15

Here are my thoughts on the fifteenth episode of Lost (season five), “Follow the Leader”:

1. The sweatier and more agitated Radzinsky gets, the more he’s only a trucker hat away from becoming Judah Friedlander.
2. I sure was disappointed at how easily Horace was willing to cede power to Radzinsky when he became the Al Haig of Dharma and declared he was in charge now.  And it sure didn’t take him long to employ questionable tactics.  He really should behave more like his sitcom doppelgänger.  After all, do you really think Frank from 30 Rock would ever order Toofer to hit Liz Lemon?  I mean, sure, Donaghy would, but we all know that Ben is the Donaghy of Lost.
3. During the five seasons of Lost so far, Kate has always looked hot no matter how dirty or shabbily dressed she may have been at the time.  Well, she’s finally managed to find an outfit that sufficiently reduces her hotness: the dark blue mechanic jumpsuit.  She’s no Betsy Russell.
4. Sayid must have read my mind, because I’ve been thinking the exact same thing about why going along with Jack’s plan is the best move: either it will fix everything, or they’ll finally all be put out of their misery.  I know Kate’s pissed because she’s suddenly only capable of looking at this as if it were a Stephenie Meyer novel, but she’s not Bella and Jack’s not Edward…although Sayid might be able to pass for an adult version of that long-haired Indian werewolf kid.  (This extremely unfortunate and inexcusable detour into the ridiculousness that is Twilight can and must be blamed on my wife’s obsession with reading vampire books aimed at 11-year-old girls, which has resulted in me being mentally infected with such tween tripe.)
5. Of all the reasons for Eloise to believe Jack that they are from the future and Faraday is her son, why was she finally convinced by seeing her handwriting?  I know The Others have been isolated from the rest of the world all these years, but it’s hard to imagine that with all of the treachery and deceit that’s taken place on that island, they’ve never been exposed to the concept of FORGERY.  Seeing people disappear and then reappear decades later could just be some sort of elaborate hoax, right?  But how could anyone possibly REPLICATE HANDWRITING?!?!?  You MUST be time travelers!!!
6. I know I’ve mentioned it before, but Other Widmore’s hairstyle is just too ridiculous for me to be able to properly focus on his character.  He looks like the love child of Russell Crowe and Bruce Vilanch.
7. Hurley really shines under pressure, doesn’t he?  You’d have thought Dr. Chang was waterboarding him.  “Anybody got the time?”  “I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!  OK, DUDE, WE’RE FROM THE FUTURE!!!”
8. Boy, Locke, Alpert and Ben really make quite the wacky trio, don’t they?  It’s hilarious how Ben’s one-liners have been rendered virtually snarkless by Locke’s supremely confident swagger.  Locke has even managed to unnerve the previously unflappable Alpert, who for once doesn’t seem to know what’s going on with the island or even Jacob.
9. Speaking of Jacob, now that we’ve learned Locke plans to kill him, that poses many questions.  Isn’t Jacob a ghost?  How do you kill a ghost?  Is Jacob’s real identity going to be finally exposed, resulting in him exclaiming, “And I’d have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids!!!”?
10. For millions of men, being with two beautiful handcuffed women at the same time is a wonderful fantasy.  But for Sawyer, it’s a horrible nightmare.