Fun with Red Dawn

Not too long ago, I saw the trailer for an upcoming remake of that ’80s Cold War classic known as Red Dawn.  This new version doesn’t boast quite the same level of starpower as the original, with such big names as Patrick Swayze and Charlie Sheen being replaced by the likes of Tom Cruise’s adopted son, Miley Cyrus’ brother-in-law-to-be, and the (formerly) fat kid from TV’s Drake & Josh.

So to properly prepare my stepkids for the new version, I found the original on Netflix and held an exclusive living room screening for them.  They managed to maintain a mild interest until one scene in particular finally got their attention.  It was the scene where Swayze, Sheen and future “Soul Man” C. Thomas Howell come back into town from their hideout in the mountains looking to replenish their supplies.  Shortly after they arrive at old man Ben Johnson’s house, he asks them to look after his “heirlooms,” which he then reveals to be his granddaughters under a secret trap door in the floor.

One of the granddaughters Swayze and Co. were asked to protect was played by none other than Jennifer Grey, which was my cue to immediately turn to my wife and say, “NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A CRAWL SPACE!”  Both she and my stepkids were so amused and delighted by that line, they made me an honorary Wolverine right there on the spot.  I can’t WAIT for the remake…