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LOST Thoughts – S5 E6

February 19, 2009

Here are my thoughts on the sixth episode of Lost (season five), “316”:

  1. I love how whenever she’s under tremendous stress, Kate’s reflex is to automatically switch into full-blown slut mode.  Whether you lock her in a zoo cage or steal her ersatz son, her coping mechanism is always to immediately begin restaging Behind the Green Door.  Too bad for Hurley that Kate always happens to be alone with either Jack or Sawyer whenever her survival libido kicks in.
  2. Leave it to Locke to turn a suicide note into an “I told you so!!!”  Of course, I’m assuming he’s not REALLY dead, since most corpses don’t grow fresh stubble.
  3. One guy who has no stubble whatsoever is everybody’s favorite pilot, Frank Lapidus, who’s face is as smooth as a baby’s bottom – even though he’s still unwilling to part with his patented salt and pepper mullet.  Maybe Sayid and Hurley could help him spruce up his look by giving him tips on how they are able to maintain such lush and lovely Jheri curls.
  4. Speaking of Lapidus, is he the first person in history to ever express such disappointment at NOT going to Guam???
  5. It’s kind of touching that Hurley brought along CHAHHH-leez guitar, but so help me Jacob, if it means we have to hear Hugo’s acoustic cover of “You All Everybody,” I’ll spontaneously combust like so much Arzt!
  6. I’m not saying Jack’s grandfather is too young to be his Dad’s Dad, but he’d probably challenge the record held by Little Alfie, Britain’s beloved baby bastardmaker.
  7. Travelocity and Priceline ain’t got nothin’ on Mrs. Hawking’s Big Book of Interdimensional Flight Schedules.
  8. Jin proved Sayid isn’t the only cast member handy with a soldering iron, as he somehow managed to re-wire the Dharma microbus Blaupunkt so it could play something other than “Shambala.”
  9. Jack: “What’s going to happen to all of these other people on the plane?”  Ben: “I don’t care.”  Has any pathological liar ever been more brutally honest than Ben?
  10. As much as I like ol’ Desmond, I can’t be the only one who was hoping to see him get hit in the crotch by the giant swinging pendulum, can I?!?  Dharma’s Funniest Home Videos would be a ratings smash!  Surely ABC can afford to hire Tom Bergeron to host yet another show.
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One Comment leave one →
  1. walt permalink
    February 19, 2009 9:23 pm

    not quite as flashbang of an episode, but good nonetheless.
    Ben kicks ass. He cuts thru any melodrama very quickly. Ya gotta respect that.

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