LOST Thoughts – S5 E5

Here are my thoughts on the fifth episode of Lost (season five), “This Place is Death”:

1. Island getaways are so expensive these days, you might even say they cost an arm and a leg.
2. Speaking of which, I’ll bet Locke is wishing he still had his wheelchair right about now.
3. I’m not sure why the smoke monster makes all of those mechanical cranking sounds, but they sure remind me of an old school rollercoaster. Come to think of it, I wouldn’t really be all that shocked to learn that Montagne de L’espace at EuroDisney has severed the limb of many a Frenchman over the years.
4. By the way, if the folks in R&D over at Brinks aren’t working around the clock feverishly trying to develop their own version of the smoke monster for consumer use, I’m switching to ADT! It warms the gravy-soaked cockles of my heart to envision ol’ “Smokey” billowing out of my hedges whenever one of those supposedly reformed gang bangers come to my door fully intent on giving me the hard sell on a three-year subscription to Family Circle.
5. It now makes perfect sense that Rousseau turned into a psychotically paranoid one-woman militia. And all this time I just thought she was simply off her meds.
6. Ben’s got the biggest set of huevos in the history of television. Who else would go so far as to call out the people whose lives he’s ruined as ingrates?!? It was like a frazzled parent on vacation after hearing one too many “Are we there yet?”s…”DON’T MAKE ME STOP THIS VAN!!!”
7. I will give Ben credit for not pawning Jin’s wedding ring to fund the purchase of a new parka.
8. Did Faraday’s Mum re-marry since Daniel was born, or is she one of those die-hard women’s libbers who insists upon keeping her maiden name. OR, was she never even married in the first place??? I’d be willing to bet she’s probably rocking a Dharma tramp stamp.
9. Jack’s Dad and Jacob are one and the same, but I don’t think that makes him a ghost. If he was really a ghost dad, he’d have to be played by Bill Cosby.
10. The only way Lost jumps the shark from here on out is if Scott Bakula and Dean Stockwell come climbing up out of the well.