Top 40 Movies of the 2000s
Before you start launching comment grenades in my general direction, there are three very important things to consider regarding the following list of my 40 favorite films released between 2000 and 2009:
(1) There are a TON of likely fantastic movies I still have not seen yet, even from several years ago;
(2) As the father of two youngsters, I am subjected to a PAINFULLY inordinate amount of kid flicks; and
(3) My list contains a RIDICULOUS number of low brow comedies, because mentally, I’m still pretty much 15
So, that being said, here’s my list…
1. O Brother, Where Art Thou? – The moment I realized it was futile to hate George Clooney.
2. WALL-E – It took an animated trash compactor to thaw my cynical heart, if only for two hours.
3. Napoleon Dynamite – The single most quote-worthy flick since Caddyshack.
4. (tie) The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
4. (tie) The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
4. (tie) The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King – The greatest trilogy since the original three Star Wars films.
7. Remember the Titans – Call it cheesy schmaltz if you must, but it fires me up every time.
8. Step Brothers – POW! POW! Indeed.
9. Superbad – Never has the male genitalia played so prominent a role outside the porn realm.
10. Frailty – Manages to be extremely disturbing and terrifying without lazily relying upon gratuitous gore.
11. Tortilla Soup – Not too many cooks in this kitchen; an absolutely fantastic ensemble!
12. Mulholland Drive – Trademark Lynchian weirdness and confusion abounds, but you literally can’t avert your eyes for a second.
13. Wet Hot American Summer – A smarter, edgier and sometimes even funnier Meatballs.
14. Snatch – The British Tarantino draws incredibly manic performances from his brilliant cast.
15. Slumdog Millionaire – Not only lived up to, but exceeded, its lofty Oscar-driven hype.
16. Gran Torino – One of Eastwood’s finest performances both in front of and behind the camera.
17. Inglourious Basterds – Tarantino’s WWII cartoon is lifted to great heights by an all-time performance from the previously unknown Christoph Waltz.
18. Old School – This 21st century take on Animal House provided a much-needed respite to all of us facing the otherwise grim prospect of a mid-life crisis.
19. The Bourne Ultimatum – Damon’s Gen-X Bond really hits the mark in this outing that recalls such great paranoia classics as Three Days of the Condor.
20. Nacho Libre – Jack Black may fancy himself more of a tubby troubadour, but this wrestling Mexican monk was truly the role he was born to play.
21. Unbreakable – Still the only good movie Shamalamadingdong has ever made.
22. Anchorman – A fantastic concept flawlessly executed to hilarious results. The gang fight may be the single funniest scene of the decade.
23. No Country For Old Men – The Coen Brothers manage to maintain maximum tension throughout. Well done, Friendos.
24. (tie) Kill Bill Vol. 1
24. (tie) Kill Bill Vol. 2 – Uma Thurman’s finest hour(s). I’m still holding out hope for a Vol. 3 at some point in the future.
26. Fantastic Mr. Fox – Unequivocal proof that Wes Anderson’s trademark brand of indie quirk comes across much less grating when delivered by animated animals.
27. Sin City – I loved every single thing about this movie, except for the lighting during Carla Gugino’s scenes.
28. The Simpsons Movie – Kudos to Groening and company for successfully turning their half-hour cartoon sitcom into a legitimate 90-minute movie and not just three loosely intertwined episodes of their show.
29. Charlie Wilson’s War – Hanks and Hoffman both at the top of their game, with Hanks actually playing a flawed guy, for once.
30. Up – Leave it to Pixar to somehow make ED ASNER lovable.
31. Iron Man – Great effects and action anchored by the best superhero backstory yet.
32. Vanilla Sky – Most people hate this movie, but it really got to me, especially the scene scored by Todd Rundgren’s “Can We Still Be Friends?”
33. Cloverfield – Some real chilling edge-of-your-seat moments, provided you can fight off the vomit reflex triggered by the shaky cam.
34. American Psycho – A tour-de-force performance by Christian Bale, who demonstrates a unique ability to multi-task (impressively operating a chainsaw while crtitiquing the output of Huey Lewis and The News).
35. Shrek – A fresh take on a fractured fairy tale driven by pitch-perfect voice work from Myers and Murphy.
36. Tropic Thunder – Robert Downey, Jr. absolutely carries this one on his shoulders, with a minor assist from a wonderfully bizarre cameo by Tom Cruise.
37. The Royal Tenenbaums – A delightfully unorthodox take on a severely dysfunctional family, led by one of the most inspired performances of Gene Hackman’s career.
38. The 40-Year-Old Virgin – Nobody makes losers more lovable than Steve Carell.
39. Big Fish – Tim thrives taking these tall tales to theaters.
40. Monsters, Inc. – Crystal and Goodman make a great team, even when covered in fur.
There you have it – not too many trendy art house darlings to be found, but I likes what I likes.
Top 20 Albums of 2009
20. Dawes – North Hills
Kind of like The Band with special guests Stephen Stills and The Shins.
“When You Call My Name”
19. David Bazan – Curse Your Branches
The sound of Pedro The Lion after being struck by lightning on the 18th green at Bushwood.
“Bless This Mess”
18. Andrew Bird – Noble Beast
Nobody whistles their way through a thesaurus like ol’ Andy!
“Fitz and the Dizzy Spells”
17. John Vanderslice – Romanian Names
JV bounces back after a couple of subpar efforts with this interesting mix of styles.
“Carina Constellation”
16. Pete Yorn – Back and Fourth
A solid, if not spectacular, return to form by the midget minstrel.
“Paradise Cove”
15. Robert Pollard – Elephant Jokes
Former GBV frontman high kicks his way through yet another solo album full of rockin’ quirk.
“Symbols and Heads”
14. Lucero – 1372 Overton Park
Barfights backed by Tower of Power.
“What Are You Willing to Lose?”
13. V.V. Brown – Travelling Like The Light
Kind of like Amy Winehouse minus drugs plus talent.
“L.O.V.E.”
12. The Gourds – Haymaker!
I don’t always listen to accordion-laced porch jams, but when I do, I prefer The Gourds.
“Tighter”
11. Franz Ferdinand – Tonight
Disco for soccer hooligans.
“Bite Hard”
10. Reno Bo – Happenings and Other Things
Elements of Big Star, The Byrds and Tom Petty flirt around with a modern bent.
“You Don’t Know”
9. The Oranges Band – Are Invisible
Ballmer’s kings of DIY art bar rock bring it stronger than McNulty after an ass-chewing by Rawls.
“Do You Remember Memory Lane?”
8. Wilco – Wilco (The Album)
Dad rock for dads who are cooler than their dads were at their age.
“You Never Know”
7. Neko Case – Middle Cyclone
Indie’s most magnificent voice overshoots a spot in the top 5 by a half-hour worth of chirping crickets.
“Prison Girls” –
6. Hayden – The Place Where We Lived
Canada’s finest troubadour since Gordon Lightfoot strikes gold once more.
“Disappear”
5. Monsters of Folk – Monsters of Folk
Bonnaroo headlined by The Traveling Wilburys.
“Say Please”
4. Deer Tick – Born on Flag Day
95% of you will never be able to get past this guy’s voice, but if you can, it will pay off in spades.
“Houston, TX”
3. Ike Reilly – Hard Luck Stories
The bastard love child of Westerburg and Mellencamp.
“Girls in the Backroom”
2. Art Brut – Art Brut vs. Satan
UK’s answer to The Hold Steady hits their stride with Frank Black at the knobs.
“Slap Dash for No Cash”
1. M. Ward – Hold Time
Coupled with his contributions to Monsters of Folk (#5), this album (his best to date) cements 2009 as the year of M. Ward.
“To Save Me”
The Unspeakable Shame of Being a Cowboys Fan
A lot of things can be embarrassing to admit, such as enjoying the cheesy musical stylings of ABBA (hypothetically speaking, of course – I admit NOTHING). Other things are bad enough to cause significant guilt, like being unable to eat anything less than an entire full-sized magazine of Ritz crackers in a single sitting (OK, I’ll cop to that one). But only the most atrocious things lead to such extreme shame they dare not even be spoken, which is why I am not reading this blog entry aloud. You see, I am a Dallas Cowboys fan, and it’s gotten to the point I’d almost feel less shame testing Chanel No. 5 on infant porpoises.
I could handle it if the Cowboys were a talentless lot pulling up the rear of the NFC, like Tampa Bay. But after watching their disgusting performance (or lack thereof) today against the Chargers, I can’t help but fight off the dry heaves that ensue every time I think back on how absolutely gutless and heartless it was to see them lay down and let San Diego march right in for the winning touchdown a mere two plays after seeing their fallen brother, DeMarcus Ware, lying motionless on the field for what seemed like forever. Having no talent would be understandable. But having no guts and no heart is absolutely unforgivable!
And the other thing about this collection of players (at this point, let’s be honest – they have absolutely forfeited the right to be called a team), not to mention their so-called coaches, is the complete and total lack of anything even remotely resembling accountability. All week we kept hearing indictment after indictment by teammates and coaches alike against Mat McBriar. They can’t show unity on the field, but they sure as hell can when facing the press blaming all their woes on the supposedly inept holding skills of THEIR PUNTER. So, they instead force their starting QB into the most uncomfortable situation possible by having him relive the demons that almost doomed his fledgling career in Seattle. It’s all in the best interest of the team, though, right? After all, the holder was the problem, not the kicker, right? WRONG!!! Nick Folk is the problem, as is the suffocatingly protective culture of non-accountability that permeates Valley Ranch.
This team won’t rally around a fallen DeMarcus Ware, but they WILL rally AGAINST such real culprits like Mat McBriar and STEVE DENNIS!!! The holder isn’t the bogeyman, and neither is the one reporter in this market who’s not a bigger wussy than the majority of the players on the team he is cursed to cover. The same team we are cursed to root for, December after December. And whenever we have to admit we are Cowboy fans to those supporting any other team in the league (even the LIONS, for crying out loud), all we can do is hang our head in shame and endure the endless laughs and insults of those with the good fortune to support any of the other 31 teams in the NFL.
Yes, we’ve won five Super Bowls, have the greatest stadium in the professional sports world, and a own tremendous legacy from 1960-96. But we couldn’t be more of a laughingstock right now if our uniforms had “Chico’s Bail Bonds” on the back. Fair weather fans give up on their team and start rooting for a winner. I’m not a fair weather fan, so I don’t have the luxury of jumping ship. I can do nothing but sit by idly and continue to suffer watching the Cowboys piss away another season on a wave of gutlessness, heartlessness and finger pointing.
Cowboys Criticism and BCS Bitterness
The only, and I mean ONLY, good thing to come out of this weekend’s football action was seeing Tebow get denied a shot at another National Championship. Of course, while many (including myself) don’t think he’s got much of a future in the NFL (other than maybe as a practice squad fullback), he does seem to show potential to become the next Rich Little, as that was an incredible impression he did of Adam Morrison after the game. Somebody please tell him THERE’S NO CRYING IN FOOTBALL!
The Cowboys obviously caused the bulk of my football angst this weekend. But before criticizing those who are responsible for keeping the annual December swoon in effect, let me first make a point of complimenting Tony Romo on his excellent performance. Yeah, he overthrew Roy late in the 4th when he was wide open for a desperately-needed touchdown, but that was one of the very, very few bad throws he made on a day when he made A LOT of throws. There’s plenty of blame to go around this week, but I’d better not hear ANY of it directed at Romo. Criticize him in front of me at your own risk.
One other undeserving target of criticism after yesterday’s game is the extremely unlikely scapegoat named Mat McBriar. After Nick “Shankappotamus” Folk sliced a routine 42-yard field goal attempt worse than a Judge Smails tee shot, he immediately looked at McBriar and threw up his hands like it was totally McBriar’s fault. Replays CLEARLY showed the snap and hold were both perfect, so Folk has nobody to blame but himself. You’d think that would be pretty obvious to everyone, but even Wade Phillips claimed during his post-game press conference that there was a problem with the snap and hold. But that’s not the only bad play for which McBriar is unfairly taking the blame, You’d think a 59-yard punt at a key time in the game would be great, even if it did end up being returned for a touchdown due to dozens of missed tackles and weak matador impressions by the inept Cowboys punt coverage unit. But Special Teams Coach Joe DeCamillis did not see fit to blame his horrible coverage unit for that return. Instead, he blamed McBRIAR FOR NOT PUNTING CLOSE ENOUGH TO THE SIDELINE!!! I guess he has a point, since if McBriar had just shanked his punt like Folk shanked that field goal attempt, there’s no way Hixon would have run it back. UN. EFFING. BELIEVABLE!!!
After seeing their performances against a cornered Packers squad and a desperate Giants team, it has become quite obvious to me that the Cowboys simply do not respond well to the adversity of others.
Returning to the college ranks, I still can’t believe Nebraska let that game slip away. Texas did not deserve to win that game whatsoever. The Cornhusker QB is probably the worst I’ve ever seen. Seriously, you could pretty much have put Stephen Hawking under center for Nebraska and they win that game. Have fun getting throttled by the Crimson Tide, Longhorns!
As for the BCS, everyone knows it’s a joke, yet somehow the punch line gets more ridiculous each year. Congratulations for going undefeated TCU and Boise State! As a reward HAVE FUN SITTING AT THE KIDS TABLE!!! I mean, can you BELIEVE THAT?!? The BCS is flat-out running scared. They simply could not risk having four undefeated teams remaining at the end of bowl season, so they rigged the system to guarantee that won’t happen. The BCS makes the Mafia look like the Boy Scouts of America. What a corrupt, seedy and vile organization!
Cowboys-Giants Live Blog Today!
The game starts at 3:15, but the live blog will be up and running even before then. You can view it from either your computer or via mobile device. Here are the links for each:
Click here for the regular computer browser version.
Click here for the version optimized for viewing on mobile devices.
Nailing The Triple Lindy 