Nailing The Triple Lindy

Cowboys or CRYboys?

1. There’s no “I” in “TEAM,” but there IS an “I” in “AMERICA’S TEAM.”
Whether it’s T.O. complaining that he’s not getting enough catches or Pacman complaining that he’s not getting enough rope, the Cowboys were ultimately unable to overcome the fact that their locker room is infected with selfishness, hubris and narcissism.

2. They should have made Tony Sparano an offer he couldn’t refuse.
The Cowboys bet on Jason Garrett and lost. They hoped they found the league’s next offensive mastermind, but were so fixated on the fact that he was a former Cowboy player and fan favorite that they overlooked his lack of significant coaching experience. Meanwhile, they let the guy walk who really made their offense tick, just because his name had no sizzle unless it happened to be misspelled.

3. The only thing this team showed any consistent commitment to all season was blaming the media for everything.
Not one coach or player on this entire franchise ever stepped up once all season and sincerely held themselves accountable for a single mistake. It didn’t matter if it was showdowns in the locker room or breakdowns on the field, every single bad thing that happened to this team inevitably was blamed on the media. Does Ed Werder miss tackles? Does Calvin Watkins commit repeated false starts? Does Jean Jacques-Taylor break off routes? Nothing is ever going to change until the people who draw a paycheck from the Dallas Cowboys start accepting responsibility for their actions.

4. There’s a reason nobody drafted Tony Romo when they had the chance.
Remember Don Majkowski? He was an off-the-radar no-name QB who took the NFL by storm out of nowhere in 1989 by throwing 27 TD passes and more than 4,000 yards for the Green Bay Packers, before quickly plummeting back to obscurity shortly therafter. He was a reckless gunslinger who somehow managed to catch lightning in a bottle for one season before his lack of pedigree and discipline caught up with him. Perhaps we are experiencing a bit of deja vu with Wisconsin’s own Tony Romo. He was a great feel-good story for a while there, but he’s really nothing more than a sandlot wizard whose bag of tricks has finally run dry. Ever wonder why you never see any of those blacktop playground hoop “legends” end up in the NBA? It’s basically the same principle at work here.

5. The head of the snake is still nothing more than a white trash Arkansas bumpkin with an enormous cow chip on his shoulder.
Ultimately, what is proving to be this team’s kryptonite year after year is the unhealthy and all-consuming obsession Jerry Jones has with having the spotlight constantly directed at his surgically-stretched snakeoil salesman smile. Underneath the blinding sheen of pomposity, he remains burdened by a lifelong inferiority complex, which has led him to measure success in terms of prestige instead of wins. He’d rather be GM of the team that leads the league in merchandise sales than hire a GM to lead this team to a championship.

Some of these things will be fixed this offseason, but too many others won’t. As much as it pains me to say it, don’t expect things to get any better in seasons to come. Jerry’s got his spectacular palace and the show ponies to trot onto his main stage, so anything else – winning included – is not a priority.